It has been five and a half years since I fell in love for the second time in my life. Five and a half years of experiencing the world through the eyes and the heart of a little boy who is truly one of a kind.
It was a love I dreamed about and that staggered me when it happened. A love that has changed the way I do things and has brought so much joy into my life that I can hardly wrap my mind around all the amazing things that have happened to me because of him.
Now, in just a few short weeks, it will happen again.
There will be another tiny little face and I know I will fall in love.
It will be scary, it will be intense, yet it will, in a very unique way, change me again.
Am I ready?
Who is ever ready?
One can look at all the black and white silhouettes and 3D images, one can feel all the movement in the world...
But it is nothing like meeting that little person face-to-face and holding them in your arms and kissing them for the first time.
So this year is a Valentine's Day of overflowing hearts, anticipating our worlds to change and grow and evolve. It's not just about pretty cards or sharing special candy, but about preparing for a life that will soon migrate from a place of secrecy to this big, wide world and all it has to offer.
Will I be able to offer that life all it needs? All the love it deserves? Will I be enough to help that little life grow safely and reach potentials I can only dream of?
Falling in love is scary. You can only know what you can feel, especially when the other party is unable to really TELL tell you what they are feeling in their own heart and thinking in their mind. You take their peaceful slumber as a way to tell you they love you, but you worry that it is not as deep as what you feel. You see a first smile and yet can only wonder what they are thinking as they smile at you.
I must remind myself not to try TOO hard and not to worry TOO much or I will make myself crazy! This little life, this tiny TINY person will know me more intimately from day one than anyone else on Earth. Imagine!
Yes, for many in this world, falling in love is too scary. They would rather talk themselves out of it to escape the responsibility. But knowing the comfort of a hug coming from a loving heart, however big or small, banishes the fear and worry. It gives me perspective.
I have a rare opportunity coming soon to meet someone and help them live and grow in a way that nobody else can do. Nobody else can give them what I can give them, in my own way. And out of all the people in the world throughout all of the history of time, out of billions and trillions of possible people to do a job like that...
It falls on me.
May it help me bloom as I help this tiny person to bloom as well. May our family be a garden growing together under the gentle sentiment of a Valentine love that surrounds us, like a warm hug, all year long.
I love you, baby Valentine of mine.