Leap Day - That Extra Chance

I was talking this morning with authors who are so turned off by other author blogs that are nothing but ‘Top 5 tips’ or ‘Best Writer Hacks’ and I thought…today better be something inspirational!

I also spoke with a fellow author about achieving success only to lose support. I hope my pitiful words helped her at least a bit because I’m certainly no expert!

So, on this extra day, what can we DO to make the most of our time while not hurting others? Sometimes it seems that, no matter what we do, someone’s offended or alienated or ignored. It almost feels overwhelming at times. Why write when it takes time away from my family? Why publish when it hurts friends? Why take time for myself when it makes friends feel not as needed?

BE TRUE TO YOU

You can’t be the best you that you can be if you’re never focusing on yourself. How can you keep pouring water out of a pitcher if you never take time to add water to the pitcher? Acknowledge when you are on ‘empty’ and take time to recharge. If anyone feels you are slighting them, explain that you are on a personal battery recharge and that you will catch up with them in another day or two. You might be frazzled and need a Hulu marathon, but don’t bite anyone’s head off!

ONLY YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE

Everyone might have different designs for your life and your use of time, but only you can live your life. They will never truly understand 100% of everything you’re going through. Don’t expect them to! Even if you sat down every day and detailed every emotion you felt that day, you could never get someone else to totally understand your unique human experience. That’s not their fault, nor is it yours. It just is. So be more accepting as your friends and family are accepting – thank them for their input on your use of personal time for writing or being creative and respectfully do what you need to do in your life.

NURTURE SPECIAL TIME TOGETHER

Be sure that you’re not outright rejecting any and every attempt your friends and family present to you when it comes to getting together. Your life’s work creating your art IS important, but that connection and relationship is important TOO. Find balance and put down the pen or ipad when you’re at lunch. Give loved ones your focus – that is you filling their pitcher so they can later fill you when you need them. The give and take of the relationships around you will feed your creative side.

ACCEPT THE END

If it turns out that the relationship is at an end, whether because of your writing, your art, or some other reason…accept it. Let that relationship go and bless them with the freedom to start a new chapter where they can find a relationship that will give them what they need. Not everything is meant to last forever and not every relationship is meant to be 24/7 contact every day for life. It’s just not how people are wired. When they need to leave, honor their need. Wish them no ill and leave the door open. The world is bringing you something new and taking them somewhere new – it just isn’t in the same direction anymore. The good thing about forks in the road is that they can lead back together…as well as apart.

YOU ALREADY WORRIED ABOUT TODAY YESTERDAY

They say that this moment is the moment you already worried about yesterday…and look…you’re still here, still hanging in there…still fighting. Still working on things. Still growing and trying. What did that worry produce but less sleep and more stress? All might not be perfect, but you’re still here to give it another go, give it another try. If your writing or your creative endeavors have made things rough in your life, each day is a fresh canvas, a blank slate.